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Some funny little jokes for you?

golftipsandinstructions — Sat, 03 Sep 2011 08:21:40 +0000

Question by Ken Adams: Some funny little jokes for you?
Tiger woods came up to me the other day and said “i want to talk to you about putting supper glue on my golf club”. I said “you just cant let it go can you”.

A market researcher phoned me the other day and asked “can i ask you 10 quick questons?”, so i agreed . She said ” question number 1, do you ever suffer from blackouts” so i said “no”. She then said “ok finaly question number 10″

I went to my girlfriends house for a romantic candle lit dinner the other day, so everything was under cooked

I bought my girlfriend a huge helium balloon for her birthday but it didnt go down very well

So I walked passed a shop the other day and the sign in the window said ” tv for sale only £1 volume stuck on high”. So i thought i cant turn that down.

I was in the butchers today and the and the guy said “i bet you £200 you cant reach those bits of meat up there”. I said “no way, the stakes are too high”.

So a police officer came to my school the other day and gave us a talk on drugs so i couldnt understand a word of it

I walked into a record shop the other day and asked “what hav you got by the doors” and the guy said ” a bucket of sand and a fire blanket”.

I bought some velcro ther other and that stuff is a complete rip off

Coffee is for mugs

Best answer:

Answer by eye 1der
Lol, I really like the 2nd 1, and the 1 about the cop

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BUSTED!!!! Great joke!!! I hope you people enjoy it :) ‘N let me know your funny comments..?

golftipsandinstructions — Thu, 18 Aug 2011 02:17:15 +0000

Question by mayooya66: BUSTED!!!! Great joke!!! I hope you people enjoy it ‘N let me know your funny comments..?
A dinner conversation that went wrong….

WIFE: “What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?”

HUSBAND: “Definitely not!”
WIFE: “Why not – don’t you like being married?”
HUSBAND: “Of course I do.”
WIFE: “Then why wouldn’t you remarry?

HUSBAND: “Okay, I’d get married again.

WIFE: “You would? (with a hurtful look on her face).”

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan).

WIFE: “Would you sleep with her in our bed?”
HUSBAND: “Where else would we sleep?”
WIFE: “Would you replace my pictures with hers?

HUSBAND: “That would seem like the proper thing to do.”

WIFE: “Would she use my golf clubs?”

HUSBAND: “No, she’s left-handed.”

WIFE: – - – silence – - -

HUSBAND: “Shit.”

Best answer:

Answer by Jed Stephen
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!! DAMN!!!! PEOPLE ARE LOOKING AT ME RIGHT NOW WONDERING WHY IM LAUGHING BY MYSELF IN FRONT OF MY PC!! HAHAHA!!! THANKS A LOT!!

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Funny Golf Lesson

golftipsandinstructions — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 11:25:00 +0000

If you ever needed a technical golf lesson, this is the one for you

Can you guys please rate these funny jokes??? please??

golftipsandinstructions — Tue, 16 Aug 2011 20:20:04 +0000

Question by Coolkid81: Can you guys please rate these funny jokes??? please??
1st :
One day there was a big lady swimming at the beach when she noticed that she had lost her top. She thought that no one would notice if she covered herself with her arms and walked overto her towel. Then a little girl came running up to her.
“If you’re going to drown those puppies, at least let me have the one with the cute little pink nose.”

2nd:
husband and wife were golfing when suddenly the woman asked, “Honey, if I died would you get married again?”
The man said, “No dear.”

The woman said, “I’m sure you would.”

So the man said, “Okay, I would”

Then the woman asked, “Would you let her sleep in our bed?”

And the man replied, “Ya, I guess so.”

Then the woman asked, “Would you let her use my golf clubs?”

And the man replied, “No, she’s left handed.”

and if you are lvl 2, please rate the THUMBS UP or THUMBS DOWN please….

Its at the bottom of the the question..
THANKS

Best answer:

Answer by hi123
a 6 for both of them

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I am putting on bar golf in a week. I want to engrave something really funny on the trophy. Suggestions?

golftipsandinstructions — Wed, 20 Jul 2011 20:29:49 +0000

Question by Stephanie G: I am putting on bar golf in a week. I want to engrave something really funny on the trophy. Suggestions?
I want it to be really ridiculous. I was thinking of also getting a box of golf balls personalized as well with the same saying. I need help…

Best answer:

Answer by Bethe W
Real golfers never lose their balls. This is what you get for being the best at playing with our balls. Thanks for having the balls to play. You had the balls to win. Putter there. I think you get theidea.

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This probably has been posted before, but I think it is funny!?

golftipsandinstructions — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 00:24:27 +0000

Question by Jodi C: This probably has been posted before, but I think it is funny!?
Mother Nature

Toward the end of the golf course, Dave somehow managed to hit his ball into the woods finding it in a patch of pretty yellow
buttercups. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch.

All of a sudden, Whoof! In a flash and a puff of smoke, a little old
woman appeared. She said, “I’m Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups? Just for that, you won’t have any butter for your popcorn the rest of your life; better still; you won’t have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life … as a matter of fact, you won’t have any butter for anything the rest of your life!”

THEN POOF! … She was gone.

After Dave got a hold of himself, he hollered for his friend Fred.
“Fred, where are you?”

Fred yells back, “I’ m over here, in the p*ssy willows.”

Dave yells back…”DON’T SWING FRED!!! For God’s sake, DON’T SWING!”

Best answer:

Answer by goombajoe
lol

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